


Promise

by BloodRedRidingHood



Series: I'll Be Your Shield [28]
Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Interrogation, Mentions of brainwashing, The Red Room, mentions of rape/non-con, slightly inaccurate russian translations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 10:55:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodRedRidingHood/pseuds/BloodRedRidingHood
Summary: She didn’t realize how much she needed Steve when this happened until he wasn’t within arm’s reach.





	Promise

Natasha couldn’t help but worry about James. He had refused to speak to the agents who were brave enough to attempt an interrogation, and instead only uttered one word as soon as he was alone again, fully aware that there were microphones and cameras in the room.

_Vdova._

It went on like this for weeks. Fury and Hill had tried everything they could think of to get him to talk, including giving him a larger cell and allowing him access to the gym in the headquarters basement. When none of that worked, Fury finally relented and agreed to bring Natasha in the next time he questioned James.

Fury picked her up before dawn, and she walked down the brick path at the house in Brooklyn, wincing as she stepped on to the sidewalk. She never fully trusted that she wasn’t going to be electrocuted, despite Fury’s assurance that he was within proximity so the band was only set to “stun.” She knew there was a sniper posted nearby to take her out if she tried to escape, but she wasn’t sure if his orders were to “stun” as well.

Snow fell lightly on their drive into Midtown. Natasha watched the flakes fall lazily out the window, wondering how her life had gotten so entirely fucked up. Of course, she could pinpoint it to one specific moment. It was snowing then, too. The memory made her nauseous and she closed her eyes, pressing her cheek against the cold glass of the window.

Hill was waiting for them when they arrived at headquarters, tablet in hand. On it was a video feed from James’ cell. He wasn’t sleeping, instead had begun doing push-ups in the cramped space between his bed and his toilet. Fury had finally gotten in touch with Tony, who had enthusiastically offered to remove the metal arm from James’ torso. There was still the metal grafting surrounded by burnt and scarred tissue, but the arm had been removed at the shoulder.

“He hasn’t slept all night,” Hill said, avoiding eye contact with Natasha. “And of course he hasn’t said anything. Refused food last night, too.”

Natasha’s eyebrows knitted together. James wasn’t sleeping and refusing to eat? Her immediate thought was that he was trying to stress his body. Walls crumble easier under stress. She had done almost the exact same thing when she had been brought to SHIELD by Clint all those years ago. Obviously, she hadn’t broken them all down, but she had made quite the dent.

“Bring him to I2,” Fury told Hill, who nodded and walked off, speaking into her comm device. “Come on, Romanoff. Let’s go see if we can get your boyfriend talking.”

They made their way to the elevators, which opened automatically upon Fury’s approach. Fury hadn’t spoken to her much since she had returned to New York. He barely looked at her directly. Even when she was being held, when she was giving her testimony, he didn’t look at her. She had always been terrified of disappointing her superiors when she was in the Red Room, knowing full well what it would mean for her. With Fury, it just made her sad and ashamed.

They made it to I2 before James and Hill. Settling herself into the smaller chair that had been brought in for her, stole a glance at the man who had made her feel like a valued agent for years.

Fury looked like he had aged since she had disappeared. There were new lines on his face that weren’t there before, his goatee had more grey in it, and he honestly just looked exhausted. He sat ramrod straight in the chair, waiting for James to be brought in, staring straight ahead. If he knew that Natasha was looking at him, he didn’t show it.

Finally, the door opened and James was escorted in by two large agents. They sat him in the chair across the table from Fury and Natasha and chained his arm to the metal table, which was also bolted to the floor. Without a word, the agents left, and it was just the three of them. Natasha vaguely wondered if Steve was on the other side of the glass. She looked over and gave a sad smile to whoever was watching them from the observation room.

“Look, Barnes,” Fury started, leaning forward, “we need to know what the hell Lukin is planning. You’re the only one who would know.” Even Fury’s voice sounded exhausted. “So why don’t you talk? We’ve been awfully nice to you. I would hate for that to change.”

James looked up from the table and caught Natasha’s eye. “ _Vy doveryayete yemu?_ ”

“ _S moyey zhizn'yu._ ” 

Nodding, James looked back to Fury. “I don’t know what Lukin is planning. I never did. I was given an order to assassinate Captain America. I was the Winter Soldier when I was given that order, and the Winter Soldier always complied. I was the Winter Soldier when I shot Natalia in DC. I wasn’t the Winter Soldier when I sneaked into her house. Whatever blocks the Red Room put in place after I was separated from her began failing that night. I’m remembering more every day. But I don’t know why Lukin wanted these people dead.”

James sat back in the chair as much as the chain allowed, and looked back at Natasha, who in turn looked at Fury. “Do you believe him, Nick?” she asked quietly. Fury glared at her familiar use of his given name, but sighed.

“Do you?”

Natasha nodded. “I know him, Nick. I trust him. I’m sure that doesn’t mean shit to anyone listening, but it’s true. I’d trust James with my life. In fact, I have on more that one occasion.”

“He shot you,” Fury stated flatly.

“And I’ve shot him.”

“He shot Steve.” This time, Fury’s voice was softer. Of course he knew about her and Steve, but he had never brought up the relationship with her before. It felt strange to hear him get so personal with her.

“When you sent me back to Russia,” she said, staring at the floor, “Ivan Rodchenko paid the men in that house to attack me and bring me to him. He wanted me, he wanted the Black Widow back in Russia’s hands. That’s when he got in my head again. He wanted me back so he could restore the glory of the Rodchenko name in the Russian intelligence community. Lukin was there. He laughed as Rodchenko strapped me to that table, and he watched as I was raped and left for dead in the snow.

“The Red Room was going to use me and James to take out SHIELD. Then they were probably going to kill us. Fury, by keeping Steve’s status a secret from me, you probably saved both James and me. I don’t know what you plan on doing with us, but we owe you our lives, Nick.”

Fury watched Natasha intently for several minutes after she finished speaking. James didn’t take his eyes off of her either. She hoped that Steve was watching, because she really didn’t know if she could say all of that again.

It hadn’t all come back to her at once. That’s not how the Red Room worked. Once the walls were broken, things started to slip through. It happened when her guard was down, when she was sleeping or reading. The first memories came back in the sitting room, when she was curled on the couch and holding onto Steve’s shirt with an iron grip. She didn’t know how long she had spent screaming from the pain once the dam had burst several hours later, but when she finally came to the next day, she remembered more than before. Steve rarely left her side, preferring to pull her into a bone-shattering hug when he noticed her starting to falter.

She never told him what she remembered, either. Between her last mission in Russia and all the other horrible things flooding her brain, there was no way he wouldn’t look at her differently. Especially if she were to tell him about the memories of James. Clandestine nights in the Russian winter, wrapped around each other in every way imaginable, stolen glances during weapons training, fingers tangled in hair and clawing at skin and caressing…

She felt sick as the images flashed across her mind, each one more clear than the last. She swallowed and took a shallow breath. She didn’t realize how much she needed Steve when this happened until he wasn’t within arm’s reach.

“Are we done here?” James’ voice cut through the fog, bringing her back to focus. “I’ll tell you whatever you want, Fury, just let her go home and rest.”

Natasha gave James a weak, grateful smile as the two agents who had escorted James in entered the room. “Promise me you’ll be good?” She reached out hand to him and gripped his shoulder lightly. “I’d really hate it if this is the last time I saw you.”

James gave her a small smile in return, nodding. “ _Obeshchayu._ ”

Natasha watched him as she walked out of the room. The last thing she saw before the door was shut behind her was James’ blue eyes going cold as he turned back to Fury. 

She stifled a sob as they made their way to the elevators. She hoped she would at least make it back to the house before she lost control. She didn’t want anyone at SHIELD seeing her break; the last thing she needed was for them to lose any respect they still had for her. 

The elevator in front of them beeped and the doors slid open, revealing Steve standing in the center, hands clasped behind his back at attention. Seeing her, he immediately moved to Natasha, catching her as she stumbled. Natasha clung to him as he guided her back into the elevator, waving off the agents and slamming his finger against the PUSH TO CLOSE button. Once she was positive that no one could see them, Natasha all but fell to the ground, letting out a pitiful whimper.

Steve pressed kisses into her hair and rubbed circles onto her back. She relaxed into him, shuddering as he whispered into her ear. “Shhhh, Nat. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Translations  
> Vdova. -- Widow.  
> Vy doveryayete yemu? -- Do you trust him?  
> S moyey zhizn'yu. -- With my life.  
> Obeshchayu. -- I promise.


End file.
